This past weekend, we gave the nephews plastic pumpkin buckets, loaded with skull lollipops that turn your tongue white, chocolate shaped like various body parts, Tootsie Rolls, Dots, and the biggest Halloween score of all, a full-size candy bar from Dylan's. Having much experience in getting "the same thing" as my younger sister, I made sure the buckets were exactly the same, even going so far as making dbg eat a second Tootsie Roll from Bucket #2 after taking one from Bucket #1. They were a big hit on Sunday, as giant loads of sugar tend to be for the 6- and 3-year old sets, but as they tore into them, I realized I made A Fatal Mistake:
One of the candy bars was white. The one in the other bucket was purple. Crap. Crap. CRAP.
Luckily, the lure of dinner was enough to pull them away from SugarFest '06, and all was temporarily forgotten until after the requisite "four bites" rule. Claiming they were much too full for chicken, they ran off to eat more candy. Of course. Expecting the squeals of discontent at any moment, I followed, several steps behind, hoping to head off any bloodshed.
You got purple! I like purple!
Do you want to trade?
Okay!
He may have been covered in skull tattoos and wearing bloody vampire fangs, but a big brother knows when to step up and do the right thing for the little guy.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I don't want your life
Dear Joe:
I'd love it if you started paying your bills, particularly the cash you owe to DirecTV, Bank of America, Cingular, and American Express. As of today, I'm going to be spending more time at home, and I really don't enjoy these daily calls from your creditors. To be fair, its not YOUR fault you don't have a readily available phone number and they're forced to use the phone book, calling the number listed next to J [Conveniently Also Our Last Name.] We can place the blame for that one squarely on the shoulders of the lovely women that demand to know where they can find you, even after I tell them I have no idea who you are. Even better is when they call me a liar and tell me they'll just keep calling until I give them what they want.
In the past two days, I've been accused of "hiding from us" and "ignoring your responsibilities." I've given up asking for a supervisor, because that's usually met with a laugh and refusal. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, they just hang up on me. I'd stop answering the phone but the messages they leave on the voicemail are of the "we break thumbs" variety.
On one hand, dear Joe, you've taught me a valuable lesson about staying on top of my financial responsibilities. Never ever do I want to find myself in your position. There are enough nasty people in my life as it is, I don't need yours too.
Owing money doesn't make you a bad person, but letting someone else get nailed for your problems does. My patience is wearing thin with this one.
I'd love it if you started paying your bills, particularly the cash you owe to DirecTV, Bank of America, Cingular, and American Express. As of today, I'm going to be spending more time at home, and I really don't enjoy these daily calls from your creditors. To be fair, its not YOUR fault you don't have a readily available phone number and they're forced to use the phone book, calling the number listed next to J [Conveniently Also Our Last Name.] We can place the blame for that one squarely on the shoulders of the lovely women that demand to know where they can find you, even after I tell them I have no idea who you are. Even better is when they call me a liar and tell me they'll just keep calling until I give them what they want.
In the past two days, I've been accused of "hiding from us" and "ignoring your responsibilities." I've given up asking for a supervisor, because that's usually met with a laugh and refusal. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, they just hang up on me. I'd stop answering the phone but the messages they leave on the voicemail are of the "we break thumbs" variety.
On one hand, dear Joe, you've taught me a valuable lesson about staying on top of my financial responsibilities. Never ever do I want to find myself in your position. There are enough nasty people in my life as it is, I don't need yours too.
Owing money doesn't make you a bad person, but letting someone else get nailed for your problems does. My patience is wearing thin with this one.
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