Thursday, January 24, 2008


In case anyone was curious, here's what's going on in my own personal biosphere:

Day 1: Cough, sore throat, intermittent fever, body aches, lack of appetite, unable to get off the couch. Suffering made a hundred times worse by having to take the redeye from CA to NY. Husband requires crowbar to pry you off the couch. Upon check-in, you look so pathetic and pale, the nice lady seats you in Row 1. You repay her by vomiting 45 minutes into the flight and applaud her foresight for near-the-bathroom seating. Oddly, this makes you feel better. Sorry, JetBlue #88!

Day 2: Cold settles firmly in lungs. Heavy cough, shortness of breath, more fevers. Wishes for death and/or unconsciousness by mallet to head increase. Sound like a 80 year-old chain smoker, feel just about as healthy. Sleep fitfully, have dreams of being chased by a cheese danish. Shivering, wish you could somehow drag your bed into the shower, which is running at 11 and the only place you can get warm.

Day 3, part 1: A reprieve! The sore throat and fever is gone, and the elephant has climbed off your chestal region. General exhaustion and a bit of congestion, but well enough to do some laundry, change out of jammies and into lounge pants. Consider this a major victory and celebrate by eating toast. Get crumbs in bed, which you realize, that, with the exception of the shower, toast and laundry, you haven't really left in 36 hours. Oddly, this doesn't bother you.

Day 3, part 2: Realize you've become a walking science project when, while watching Martha Stewart, you can see your organs begin run via antigravity and the mucus in your lungs is marching it's way to your sinuses. Prayer does nothing and you run through a box of Kleenex in 20 minutes. Denial begins, and a Mucinex-Tylenol Sinus-Halls-Robitussin cocktail sounds like a really good plan of attack.

Day 3/4, part 4am: It wasn't. Now, in addition to trying to breath through a wet sponge, you're high on cold meds and can't sleep. When you do manage to nod off, all your dreams are narrated by Zach Braff.

Day 4: Require an assist in getting your head off the pillow. Everything from the neck up is swimming in mucus. Realize it's all lies and that Puffs Ultra Plus Soft Kitten Fur is made of Brillo pads. On the upside, your sore throat is gone, but it's been replaced with a runny nose worse than any 6 year old and congestion so bad, your teeth hurt. Also, your nose has completely rubbed off and has been replaced with a Mr. Potatohead nose, which also runs. Call Dr. Cupcake and plead with her to come over and do that thing she once told you about that sounded so painful, you'd have to prefer her back over your head in her truck instead Offer money, firstborn.

Day 5: Mouth still throbby from stuffiness. Rapidly running out of common symptoms and Scrubs reruns, wonder what comes next. Place bets on itchy rash, MRSA, internet virus, and/or chicken pox.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Snowy Sunday

It's snowing here in NJ. It snowed a bit just before Thanksgiving, but it was light, almost like fluffy rain. Plus, it shot up to 60 degrees the nexy day and was gone by noon. Now though, it's seriously cold out, so it might stick around awhile. Just in time for me to go back out west.

I've been productive lately. I started baking this weekend for Hannukah: chocolate mint Hershey Kiss cups and chocolate dipped sugar cut-out cookies. Today I'm going to tackle oatmeal raisin cookies (a Dad special request), and two kinds of shortbread: plain, rolled in blue sugar, and chocolate chip. I also made banana bread with pecans and chocolate chips, but that's unrelated (and very necessary, the bananas were five minutes from going mutant.) I'm going to box all the cookies up in chinese food boxes for everyone to take home on Sunday.

I also finally got my hair cut, after February's pre-move freak out, when I cut it way too short. I need to start packing to go back to CA and am just going UPS most of my stuff back out there. I finished my holiday shopping and wrapping weeks ago, so that's done. This year, everyone's getting Hannukah presents, since I won't be here for Christmas.

I also need to get a job. I hope the strike won't hurt too much, but I've faced the fact that if I don't get one almost immediately after getting off the plane, I'm going to have to try to work at Border's or something. I have zero retail experience, so I don't know how that's going to work. We'll see. All I know is, I need to work and I need it now.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

How can you not love a tiny pony wearing sneakers and a pilgrim hat?

Sunday, October 14, 2007


When we last left our hero...

1. I finished my first show in CA, and luckily (and unlikely to ever happen again), only had four weeks off until the next job. Which is in New York. Which is nowhere near my house, my car, my bills, or my husband. So that's a downer. On the other hand, the show is pretty awesome, AND I get to pretend I'm 16 again, while I crash with Mom and Dad for awhile.

2. On the upside, I've been spending a lot of time with Dr. Cupcake and dbg, which is a definite plus.

3. I haven't cut off any of my fingertips lately, or sprained or broken anything, but production starts tomorrow, so let the injury count begin.

4. Mom and Dad's aforementioned crib is in New Jersey, a mere 17 miles from The City That Never Sleeps, leading me to return to my roots on NJTransit, the bus, the train, the way to go! It's actually not terrible, taking about 45-60 minutes to get to and fro, a marked improvement over the CA commute, when the Jansport and I would roll in sometime between 9:30am and a week from Thursday.

5. On the other hand, I'm going to get to know the 6:03am train a whole lot better starting Monday, for a 7am call time. OMGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

6. Peckle's wedding is two weeks from today. At first blush, my dress was big enough for me, Dr, Cupcake and dbg to have a party in. As of yesterday, it's smaller, but still big enough for a few trips to the Castle. I'll take it.

7. After weeks of "fall" weather, with 10000% humidity and 90 degree temps, it's finally, actually cold here. Since I'm flying solo in the tri-state, that means extra blankets, warm jammies and the windows? Wide open. What?

8. Commuting via public transportation means I've gone from driving a Jansport to carrying one. Last week, I was wearing my backpack, carrying a binder and a lunchbag, making me look like a really tall 9 year old.

9. I'm considering crossing over to the dark side and getting a Blackberry. Pray for me.

10. I just packed a wheelie suitcase full of nothing but food. Doesn't everyone?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Not willingly, anyway.

While at the local Shell station this afternoon, I realized I was wearing one of my favorites:

I love a good site gag.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Don't touch my stuff.

Our apartment was broken into only 10 days ago. A brick through a window, and both the glass and my small sense of home, however much I had, is shattered and gone, along with my laptop and a set of car keys (the latter, recovered in a bush, the former, sadly, has been most likely been sold for drugs.) Things, of course, can always be replaced, but it unfortunately coincided with the decision to leave one job in favor for another, which in turn, was delayed until September, forcing stress levels to max capacity. Taking a break seemed like the thing to do, so here I sit, footloose, fancifree, supposedly "on vacation" for the month. I spent a lovely week down the shore with my family and will spend the upcoming week in Baltimore with Peckle, but I feel loose and detached, like I shouldn't be here, shouldn't be anywhere but back in the 909, guarding my remaining stuff with a pea shooter.

The next few months will be spending bouncing back and forth between the coasts and maybe that's why. It pains me in a cliche, girly way to be so far from J for so long, and I wish it didn't have to be this way, but work is work, I guess. I can't tell if I feel so all over the place because of the upcoming months, or if this is some kind of Lifetime-y, victim-y, oh god why meeeee reaction to what happened. In all likelihood, it's probably a little from each side of the menu and would also explain why I've been carrying my purse everywhere with me, ala Sofia from The Golden Girls. Which in turn, could ALSO explain why I feel so weird about being away from my husband; perhaps I should keep him in my handbag as well.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Reverse Meme

Courtesy of sitcomgirl, wherein you tell me all about you:

1. Can you cook? Yep, and I have the scarred hands to prove it.

2. What was your dream growing up? I really, really wanted to learn how to fly. $36 bucks at the Shell station this morning to fill up the Packback says I still wish I could.

3. What talent do you wish you had? Nice handwriting. Years of email and Microsoft Office have rendering my writing to just a notch or two above 'completely awful.'

4. Favorite place? Anywhere my family is, usually around a big meal.

5. Favorite vegetable? Onions, tomatoes, red cabbage, broccoli, arugula, potatoes...I like most veggies, except asparagus and peppers.

6. What was the last book you read? The Tummy Trilogy by Calvin Trillin.

7. What zodiac sign are you? Capricorn.

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Pierced ears. No tattoos, but I have a scar on my right pinkie shaped like New Jersey. That counts, right?

9. Worst Habit? Worrying. I can obsess and make myself insane with anxiety like no other. No wonder I take the little purple pill. I also drive too fast but I consider that a well-honed skill, Officer.

10. Do we know each other outside of our blogs? 9 years now.

11. What is your favorite sport? Probably baseball, but only because J told me to say that.

12. Do you have a negative or optimistic attitude? Depends on what day and what time it is.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Discuss we were going to eat the second we got out.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? I've been fortunate to haven't had any significant tragedies in my life so far. Getting laid off and being unemployed has been the worst thus far and it sucked pretty badly.

15. Tell me one weird fact about you. My pH levels are out of whack; eventually, I bleach most of my shirts and towels just by wearing and using them. I even managed to fade my white gold wedding ring back to yellow - it's only two years old.

16. Do you have any pets? No, we don't welcome anything with more than 2 legs in this house.

17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? I did go to prom after all...

18. What time is it where you are now? 5:30pm, PST

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary and weird.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd be as tall and thin in real life as I am inside my head.

21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience? A little from column A, a little from column B. I'd never let you hurt yourself or get in big bad trouble. I will, however, help you steal the cool silverware and nice hotel bathrobes.

22. What color eyes do you have? Blue.

23. Ever been arrested? Nope.

24. Bottle or draft? As long as it's vodka, it can come from a can for all I care. Mix it with grapefruit juice and call it a day.

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Give Amex and the government their cut, and then go on vacation for awhile.

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Nothing really, it hurts my jaw.

27. What's your favorite bar to hang at? My couch with a cocktail or 10. I'm just that cool.

28. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Nap, go to the pool, hang out with friends.

30. Do you swear a lot? ::insert obvious answer here:: (yes)

31. Biggest pet peeve? People who clip their names in public, people that walk too slowly in front of me, people that drive too slowly in front of me, people that...hmm, a theme.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Flexible

33. In one word, how would you describe me? Superfantastico

34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? Just did. :)