It constantly amazes me, the differences between LA and NYC. Two huge, influential cities, their populations can be strikingly similar, but in all my time in NYC, no one I've ever encountered has used such strong racist remarks as those I've come across lately. Maybe it's because you'd never find anyone there that's not a cross between someone and some place, but it's not like LA is White People, All The Time, which makes it even weirder.
1) At work the other day (oh yeah, I got a job. Goes through August. Pays the bills. Helps me sleep. Hooray! For now!), I was talking to a prospective talent, going over her contact info. When I got to her email, I made her spell it three times, because I couldn't believe it was something so WRONG, so inappropriate and so....she thought it was funny? Because she's Asian? Seriously?
2) Again, on the job, I was meeting with someone looking for a spot on the team, and when I asked if she was in or out, she said she wanted to, but "they're trying to Jew me down on my rate." Now, we'd just met. She has no idea who or what I am, but in that instant, I learned all I needed to know about her. If she's the kind of person that's okay with throwing that kind of thing around in casual conversation with someone she just met, I really have no interest in working or crossing paths with her ever again.
This kind of thing makes me once again re-examine who I am and how I present myself here. I can blend right in; unless you've spent enough time around Jews and don't know there's a whole line of us with red hair and pale skin, you wouldn't think me as anyone "ethnic." I'm not, nor do I pretend to be, but it makes me think about how it looks like I blend right in with everyone that's not outwardly "different." I'm not really comfortable with that, and it unsettles me to feel like this, because I'm not striving to stick out or BE DIFFERENT HEY LOOK AT ME I'M NOT LIKE YOU or anything like that. I know who and what I am, I just never thought I'd be somewhere that what I am IS different. It makes me think; I definitely don't want to be less than what I am, but do I want to be more? Do I actually want more or just look it? If this is how I feel now, in June, I can only imagine what the Christmas season will bring.
It's funny, when we came out here, I expected a lot of things to be different; I never imagined this would be it.
Monday, June 04, 2007
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