Ironing

Confidential to the woman with the anti-foie gras, anti-animal testing, anti-fur, anti-meat buttons on your bag on the N train today:

Those are some great suede boots and leather bag.

Happy Thanksgiving!

3WA

On the 5 train last night, I was smushed against two teenage lesbians. I know they were lesbians because they told me so, and also because they licked and groped each other all the way up the east side.

I'm not certain, but after that, I think I've officially been in my first threesome

Yeouch

A little tip from me to you:

When you wear your cute new red pointy-toe flats out for the first time, even though it's oddly warm for November, wear socks. Because when the stiff leather rubs the crap out of your heels, resulting in blisters and raw, red flesh, later on that night, when you take a shower to get the subyway/bar-ness off of you, you're going to swear your shower is broken and is spraying not water, but a nice mix of acid and lemon juice on your feet and holy FUCK does it hurt.

So don't do what Donny Don't did.

Almost-expired transfer

A kid ran in front of the M14 last night and narrowly missed going squish. His mom was about 10 feet away, on her phone and only realized little Timmy was about to become a roadburger when the bus honking and screaming passengers made it too hard for her to hear her conversation. Without missing a beat, she grabbed him 3 inches before contact, and threw him on the sidewalk. Phone still mashed to her ear, she stood on the sidewalk, alternating between screaming at the bus driver "you coulda fucking kilt my kid!" and telling Timmy he deserved to get hit for running away.

Sounds like SOMEONE wants to have it both ways.